The Truth About What You’ve Been Told Why Love Is Life
Introduction Of The Truth About What You’ve Been Told Why Love Is Life
The Truth About What You’ve Been Told Why Love Is Life. The dynamic that’s supposed to be showcased in our dating in our relationship lives number two is attachment a lot of times we don’t get taught what attachment is there’s so many different attachment styles and one of the things that happen in love in relationships and dating is we start to get attached and then we’re like where is this feeling coming from and so we start to get involved in this other person’s life and we start to attach them because we feel like the pieces of us belong to them and if they leave us then we are broken if they don’t love us then.
That person then becomes responsible for your happiness
We’re not enough and then we become attached you know what a big responsibility that is to have somebody become attached to you or you become attached to that person and that person then becomes responsible for your happiness that’s a huge responsibility that nobody can fulfill think about that number three is we’re taught we have to have it to be whole we’re taught that we have to have love to be whole so then the illusion of self-love gets completely dilated diminished the illusion of being oneself gets diminished in that thought so when we’re taught that we have to have love to be whole we seek relationships to assume the value within us and because we seek relationships to assume the value within us we then become lost because the only value within you is the value that you will know.
So what is it that makes us think these ways I always often found myself at times especially when I was growing up thinking of things like this and why love brought so much happiness why love brought so much hatred why love brought so much anger and that leads me into the next tip number four no one says anything about the lessons to be learned in love man I remember my grandfather always used to try to teach me lessons with love and being completely honest but when we go to school no teacher gives us the handbook of love and this is why my practice is so important to me because this is something that we’re lacking in life relationships are our biggest lessons.
We get into our first relationship or our first loving experience
When we get into our first relationship or our first loving experience I should call it or lusting experience and sometimes we don’t know the difference which I have a video about we get into these dynamics of relationships and we think this person because I love them is supposed to be my forever first love or love and sometimes it ends up happening when it’s your first love but sometimes it doesn’t and then we lose ourselves in the relationships and part of losing ourselves into relationships are also lessons which some may call mistakes.
I’m a big believer in life that there are no mistakes in life there are only lessons and either the lessons are going to continue to show up for you to face and learn and grow from them or they show up you learn and grow from them and then the lessons contribute and they get less and less and better and better so no one in school and life and sometimes not even in our household do we get taught love no one says anything about the lessons to be learned in relationships so we go in dating blindly in our relationships and then we are left stumped on why this person doesn’t love us back and instead of looking at ourselves and saying what can I learn from this. Read More The Truth About What You’ve Been Told Why Love Is Life.
I believe that love and loss are our biggest lessons our life and this is what makes you grow to become that person when I think about my relationships in the past a lot of them were big lessons right and some of them were amazing lessons that amplified my life and some of them were lessons that held me back but then amplified my life because I knew I had a responsibility to play in those relationships because I knew i wasn’t showing up for Apollonia i was showing up as the childhood me the triggered me the trauma me so for me to get abundance in my marriage now the husband that I have now I look back at all those lessons and I say.
That saying opposites attract I’m sure you have here been the thing
I would have never been able to have the person I have now if I didn’t experience these lessons and show up for them and also be here with you tip number five have you ever heard that saying opposites attract I’m sure you have here been the thing that I have about this and why I think this is a lie is doesn’t mean that opposites don’t attract let me be very clear but here’s what I’ve seen happen in so many of my clients coaching sessions just everything I’ve done and the years and experiences I’ve had in the coaching of the realm of love and relationships and life but we tend to get in relationships and we are maybe getting in this relationship for the reason that.
I shared in tip number three that we have to be whole with this person and then we find excuses and we’re like oh she’s just so opposite that’s why we attract because she’s so different than me but then our values our boundaries our foundational elements of life are not the same wants and needs maybe you find yourself being with someone that doesn’t ever want to have children or get married but you instead convince yourself that you’ll convince them which I’m going to get the next back I’m going to get into in the next tip and you say well we’re just opposite and that’s why we attract so you start to cover up and you put a band-aid basically on why the relationship’s not working and you say oh it’s because opposites attract because in our society we’ve said oh wait you’re in a great relationship. After all, you’re the opposite.
But we don’t define what that means and that’s the issue opposites attract in different ways meaning I can use myself as an example me and my husband we have the same foundational elements of life we’re on purpose together basically our life is devoted to our purpose I could not be with anybody else but my husband probably because he’s an entrepreneur I’m an entrepreneur and our time is very valuable our first baby is our business because our life is about giving back to people and that is our foundational element and then our relationship does come in first as well but we make time for that and the time is very different than a lot of other relationships so you can’t compare yourself to what that is but then I like to golf he doesn’t like to golf he loves basketball I love basketball he believes in marriage.
The foundational elements are aligned he is an introvert
I believe in marriage do you see the foundational elements are aligned he is an introvert sometimes I’m an extrovert we’re a little opposite but the foundational principles in the relationship are still there where people go wrong is when the foundational principles are being covered by oh but we’re opposites that’s why we attract and then it’s chasing toxicity unhappiness fights maybe even drama occurs which leads me into the next tip number six is you can change someone if you try hard enough they tell you man is this wrong I want you to think of something if you try hard enough to change someone what are the odds that you would lose yourself so then how can you love this person.
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When we get into relationships to try to change some change someone typically that other person builds resentment towards us or we build resentments towards them and the reason being is because nobody will internally change unless they really want it and here’s where people get misconstrued I’m going to be in this relationship with her and I’m going to push her and I’m going to try and I’m going to fix her and my art is in my doing especially with men they think this way is the doing is how they show love and when this happens the other person builds a resentment or they get angry or they get frustrated.
I’m doing everything I can but instead, you got to think of it like this you’re in that playing field trying to fix them but instead, the healthy way to do this is you got to fix them from afar and stay alive with your values and principles listen I love you but you’ve got to play in this playing field for a little bit and figure it out well I’m going to be here and supporting you from afar but this is your job to figure out and I’m here to witness it and to help you when you need me but until you figure this out we cannot come together that is the difference and lastly people say true love will solve all your problems oh no honey.
The foundational element our society
They won’t this is the thing about life is again goes back to the foundational element our society has taught us to believe that true love will solve all your problems you won’t have any problems but relationships are constant work and I can’t remember the last time someone told me that besides my learning and myself teaching other people and that’s what’s wrong is like we don’t learn the right principles of relationship and there’s so much misinterpreted or not good feedback about relationships out there and so what’s important to understand is when we believe that true levels solve our problems that are not the true life is about lessons constantly. Comment The Truth About What You’ve Been Told Why Love Is Life.
We can call them problems issues whatever you may call them but what true love does is it supports problems it communicates it shows up with compassion and that the both of you can work through it now true love does not solve problems if you don’t put in the intent if you don’t work through your problems it just makes those problems arise for you to focus on love and loss are the big two biggest things that will get you in line with who you want to be in life and what relationships that you want love does exist and true love does exist but what I’m saying in this video is that there’s.